6 Ways Italians Are Different – And We Love It

Italians like to talk – a lot

In Italy, there is no such thing as a silent ride home, walking into a quiet bar or hoping to have a moment to yourself if you’re sitting in a piazza with your morning café. It won’t happen.

Well, maybe if you are in a major city like Rome or Florence it might but most definitely not in the smaller towns and villages of Umbria.

Italy’s green heart is known as one of the friendliest regions of the country – for good reason. Don’t even think about walking by someone, stranger or not, and neglecting to say, Buongiorno.

We learned this early on living in the historical center of Paciano. If we have an appointment, we factor in an extra 10 minutes to make it to our car 100 meters away. We have to. Inevitably, there will be someone stopping us on the street to say ‘Good morning’ and ask us how we are.

And in Italy, they really want to know. None of this, ‘Fine, thank you’ when you feel like crap. They know when you’re fibbing and they’ll catch you out. The same goes in reverse. If you ask an Italian how they are, expect to get the truth – warts and all.

Peter told me a story of the time he was in a local bar with a friend. It was packed and boisterous – everyone chatting and having a great time. He had a long conversation with a man who had joined them about local farming practices. When the un-named gentlemen left, Peter asked his friend, ‘Who was that?’ only to be told his friend didn’t know. This is so typical of life in an Italian village. Nobody needs to eat alone or drink alone. Joining in on someone’s conversation is both accepted and expected.

You gotta love it. We do.   

Italians are obsessed with food

This may seem like a given for a country that produces some of the best cuisine on the planet but I’m not just talking about specific iconic Italian dishes, I’m referring to the fact that everyone, from ages 10 to 100 spends an extraordinary amount of time talking about what they ate last night and what they’re about to eat for lunch that day.

And nobody else’s Mama or Nonna makes said dish in question better than their own Mama and Nonna. This is the gospel truth and they will argue until the dinner bell rings that they are right.

And of course, they are.

Don’t attempt to eat ‘on-the-run’ or grab lunch in the car. This horrifies an Italian. As does asking for parmesan to put on your fish pasta, having a café latte, or any drink with milk, after noon hour and mixing fish and meat in the same meal, as a general rule.

For an Italian, the digestive track and what you put in it (and what time of day you do) is a major point of conversation. It can’t be avoided.

The thing is, the more we follow the Italian ‘rules’ the better we feel. And the less prone we are to grab for the Tums. They’re on to something.

For Italians, food is to be celebrated – no matter where you are and who you are with. Take this story we heard of an incident two winters ago on the autostrada (main highway) not far from Paciano.

Our region was hit with an unusual amount of snow that year, creating icy, dangerous conditions on the highways. It was just around Christmas time. Two big trucks, one loaded with prosecco and another with panettone (Italian cake) were pulled over on the side of the road, waiting out the storm.

What to do if you are Italian strangers stranded on a snowy night? You open your cargo, grab a cake or two, a few bottles of prosecco and you celebrate.

You celebrate being alive on such a beautiful night, the good food and drink, and the fact you’ve just made a new friend.

Nothing could be more Italian.    

Italians LOVE children

I know what you’re thinking – every culture loves children. True, but in Italy children don’t fit into your life and your work schedule, they rule it. Children are welcome everywhere – to all social occasions and even in your local bar.

In the Italian school system, children are served a four course hot lunch every day that rivals some of the finer restaurants. Italians will do anything for a child. And babies? Forget about it. They LOVE babies.

One day, we were standing in line at the local macelleria (butcher). Well, not standing in line but more like huddling on mass since Italians don’t stand in line per say. Tensions were high. There seemed to be no order in who was up next when suddenly, we hear the butcher shout to the back of the room, ‘Yes, Senora, what would you like?’

We all turned around prepared to protest that he was by-passing those of us who were there first for a woman who had just arrived when low and behold, we noticed the woman was holding a small baby.

The frowns turned to huge smiles and the room filled with lots of cooing. I couldn’t believe it. Just like that the pseudo line parted like the red sea and the woman and babe marched to the front of the line. I opened my mouth to say something and was promptly scowled at.

Moral of the story – never come between an Italian and a baby. 

Italians don’t get personal space

I admit, this one I don’t love but I do find it fascinating. Italians share a culture that is very social. They like to travel in groups, eat in groups and generally hang out – you got it, ‘in groups’.

Maybe this is why, they don’t get the personal space thing. Case in point, a checkout line in the local grocery store: Italians don’t stand behind you, they hover. So close you can feel their breath on your neck. And even if you turn around and give them your best glare, they don’t look bothered.

They stand their ground.

If you’re browsing through items on a store shelf, they will practically knock you over to look at the very item you were about to reach for. I suspect it’s something to do with, ‘if she wants it, it must be good’.

Nowhere is this lack of personal space savvy more pronounced than an Italian parking lot. You can pull into a deserted lot, choose a parking space furthest from the door, do a double-check when you enter the shop to confirm there is not one single car other than yours in the lot and without fail, when you emerge from the shop, there will be another car. The only other car in the lot, parked directly next to yours. And even more likely, the car will be pulled up so close to the driver’s side of your car that you can’t get in.

The entire parking lot is empty save for the two cars parked side-by-side practically touching. Why? The answer to this question has both perplexed and frustrated me for years. The only plausible answer I can come up with is along the same lines as the intrusive shopper mentioned above.

I think an Italian pulls into the virtually empty parking lot, sees your car and says, ‘Oh, that must be a good spot. I’m going to park there too.’ Or perhaps, ‘Oh, look at that lonely car all by itself. I’m going to keep it company.’

After all, Italians are very social, right? So stands to reason this would apply to choice of a parking spot as well.

Italians like to look good

No other culture does style like the Italians. They are famous for their fashion sense and passion for aesthetic pleasure. Unlike many North Americans, the average Italian doesn’t own a closet full of clothes or shelves of shoes.

They may have half a dozen shirts or dresses and maybe six pair of good shoes. But they will all be of excellent quality and they will take care of them with a dedication and commitment that is amazing to behold.

Last year, we were staying in the Italian Alps for the summer and had to frequent a laundry mat to wash our clothes. During one visit, we were waiting for the end of the spin cycle when in walked a young Italian man.

He retrieved his clothes from the dryer, and then proceeded to meticulously lay each item of clothing on the sorting table one-by-one. He gently smoothed out the wrinkles, and then folded each piece with military precision, checking carefully to make sure not a millimeter was out of place.  

We were fascinated. He took such care with each item. It seemed to matter to him that his clothes, even when not worn, looked good. It’s the famous Italian, bella figura – the desire to always look your best in any circumstance.

Here’s a few tips so you don’t stand out like a tourist when in Italy: don’t wear trainers, or running shoes as we call them in Canada, especially in the major cities. Don’t wear socks with sandals (well actually, don’t do this anywhere on the planet). Avoid shorts and at all times, muscle shirts or sleeveless t-shirts for men. If you must wear a money belt, cover it up with a stylish shirt or jacket. Don’t walk around with it exposed on your belly. I could go on but I won’t.

We can all do with a bit more of the Italian bella figura.  

Italians will do anything for a friend

I’ve saved the best for last. There are so many things I love about Italians but this one tops my list. I have never known a people more willing to extend a hand, to share an embrace, to give of their time and hearts than the Italians.

Simply put, they will do anything to help a friend. It doesn’t matter how busy they are or what they had previously planned, if you need help, they will go the extra mile to make sure they give it to you. Sometimes literally.

A few years ago, Peter wanted to make reservations for a Valentine’s Day dinner at a restaurant he’d heard was great in the neighboring town, Citta della Pieve. Problem was he wasn’t sure of the name, never mind where it was. He popped into Angelina’s, one of the locals bars we’d been frequenting for years, and asked the owner Paolo for help.

Despite the fact he was working behind the bar, Paolo took the time to draw a map on a napkin and try to explain where to find the restaurant in the maze-like historical center.

Not happy with his drawing, he jumped from behind the bar and said, ‘Let’s go’.  Paolo drove Peter to the town 15 minutes away and then took him directly to the restaurant so he could make a reservation in person.

All this while he was working and needed back at his bar. Helping a friend, especially one on a romantic quest, was more important.  

That’s friendship. That’s caring. That’s Italian.

A presto

Anna