Love In The Time of Covid

Love. I’ve given a lot of thought to this four-letter word over the past 14 months. It’s been more than a year since we first heard of Covid-19 and our vocabulary grew to include words like ‘lockdown’, ‘quarantine’ and ‘social distancing’.  

For much of the world, the light at the end of our long, dark tunnel is near. And for others like me and my husband Piero, we continue to wait for the life-saving vaccine – and to long for family we haven’t seen in almost two years.  For us, it is not over.

Since the pandemic began, we have been sidelined thousands of miles away while my father had emergency quadruple bypass surgery in Canada, and our beautiful granddaughter Vienna was born.  We’ve missed our two-year old grandson Weston’s first steps and have had to settle for video chats with him as a busy toddler.

I was not there to help my daughter through her pregnancy; to hold my father’s hand when he awoke from an invasive surgery he feared might take his life.  I watched our grandson celebrate his 2^nd birthday with his other grandparents cheering him on as he blew out his birthday candles.

Coping in a Covid World

As I write this, Canada still has a government imposed mandatory hotel quarantine for all those arriving in the country, even the fully vaccinated. While I understand the need to protect its citizens, I question the effectiveness of this system at curtailing the spread of the virus. Recent reports that some of the ‘Covid’ hotels have had outbreaks doesn’t suppress my skepticism. Still, I would succumb to this inadequate and expensive rule if only I could get vaccinated.

I am on a waiting list here in Italy and so I wait…and wait.

And I think about the nature of love and what it will mean to be able to hold each other again; to grab each other in such a tight hug that there is no space between us; no room for the pettiness and arguments that might have fraught our relationships pre-pandemic. 

I think about the tears I know will fall when I cradle our granddaughter in my arms for the first time and I feel her baby’s breath like a whisper on my neck.

I think about all the small things that make up all the love stories in our lives – between husbands and wives; brothers and sisters; parents and children; friends and lovers. I look at my husband and marvel at how we have rode out this pandemic together, never being apart for a single day since it all began in March 2020.  

We’ve had to carve out a way of being in each other’s space every day while giving each other the space we both need. No matter how much you love each other, it’s not easy to be together 24/7. There are days we look at one other and I know there are words of frustration we both want to release but we don’t. So they simmer and inevitably erupt into arguments over things we would not have fought about in the past.

Then there are days when I look at Piero and he just knows. He walks up to me without a word and hugs me as I cry – heaving, soundless sobs into his strong shoulders. It’s how we get by. How we cope as we wait…and wait.

There are tears of joy too. Like the other day when after countless tries to get on the vaccine waiting list, I input Piero’s equivalent of an Italian social security number and instead of bright red letters stating it’s not time for his age group yet, I got through to the next page and the confirmation he is on the list. I burst into unexpected tears; such was the relief that my husband will soon be protected from this robber of life as we knew it.

And then there have been tears brought on by moments that have touched our hearts. Moments that remind us that no matter how old we get or wise we think we are, there is still so much to learn in this life about the nature of love.

Love in the time of Covid

For our recent wedding anniversary we decided to take advantage of the relaxed restrictions finally permitting us to leave our towns and booked a table for lunch on a lovely terrace overlooking Lago Trasimeno.

It was a brisk, sunny May day. All the vases were brimming with freshly planted flowers, birds were singing in the trees surrounding the courtyard and the odd sailboat floated by below us.

It was a perfect day.

While we enjoyed fresh lake fish and a wonderful local bottle of wine, we reflected on our years together and the amazing journey that had brought us to this day.

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Beside us, there was a large party surrounding an older couple who appeared to be celebrating a special occasion. The elderly woman was elegantly put together in a black and red pantsuit. Maybe an 80^th birthday I thought. The waiter brought out prosecco and a huge strawberry cake and they all rose to take photos and toast the couple.

Our waiter came over to us and said, ‘They are also celebrating their wedding anniversary  – 60 years today. ”

Piero and I couldn’t believe it. There were only a few tables in the restaurant and here was a couple that married the same day we did, decades apart. I had been feeling a little sad that we weren’t able to celebrate in Venice, the magical city where we got married, as we usually did but looking at this couple who must have weathered so much together in more than half a century, I felt privileged to be in their company.

Piero offered to take some photos for them and told the husband we shared their anniversary date. He smiled and said when we reach their years of being married, he would toast us from heaven. Piero returned to our table and took my hand. What had already started as a wonderful anniversary day took on a deeper level of emotion. On our way out, we stopped at the couple’s table and congratulated them, ‘Tanti Auguri’ we said and wished them many more years of happiness together.

We were about to leave when Piero turned and asked them, ‘Do you mind sharing any words of advice with us?” Without missing a beat, the wife said, “Fight every day.”  And her husband jumped in with his reply. “At least that way you must talk every day.”

We walked away, hand in hand, smiling bigger smiles than we had in a very long time. We’ve done our share of fighting this past year.  Our love may have grown weary in the year of the pandemic. It may have been tested, prodded and pushed close to its limits on more than one occasion but maybe; just maybe there is perfection in its imperfection.

Maybe the true nature of love is in its endurance; its ability to see beyond the fault and fiction and just be there, even from a distance – always. 

To touch one another with our words, our actions, our hearts.

For those of you who have had the joy of being reunited with your loved ones, I hope it brought you closer in your love. And to those of you like me, who still wait for that day, may you find peace in knowing this time of absence has only strengthened your bonds.

And to my husband Piero, thank you for being my light at the end of this long, dark tunnel. For being there. Always.

To take my hand, hold me up, and never let me fall. Ti amo.

A presto

Anna